15 Jun

In my recent journaling about my past and possible abuse by my father, it was interesting that I never really had a lucid memory about the abuse… nothing that would stand up in court or could even be defended. No details. Just a knowing. A body intuition. And, of course, the fact that it was all being played out and reflected in my current relationship.

I went to a hypnotist to try to recover the “real” memories… the actual actions and reactions so I could have something tangible to “overcome.” They never came. What I did realize was that my body memories are far more reliable than ones that might have been in my head and then rearranged so I could live with them. My body … my sweet Ms. V (named for Venus Willendorf)… remembers it all. And her account of it is much more true and clear than anything in my mind.

The body remembers everything. Every touch, every word, every emotion, every joy, every sorrow, every brutality, every tenderness. The body remembers it all. And unlike the mind, it does not sugar coat it or distort it or try to make it palatable. The body just holds onto it until we are ready to look at it, process it, accept it, thank it, and release it. Sometimes we ask too much of our bodies. I had been asking my body to hold all the abuse and brutality of my childhood for 60 years. And she did it. Until my spiritual journey required that she show it to me so I could process through it.

When I asked my body to let go, it started playing out as my life. All the pain and the reasons for it were suddenly being acted out in my emotions and my actions and my reactions in my relationship. Ms. V began feeling the pain, and reflect it. She began to feel the shame, and reflect it. She began to process the anger, and reflect it. She began to reveal the sadness and fear, and reflect it. My life became miserable. Severe body pain, crying, disconnection, confusion, fear, desperately wanting comfort where there was none.

Ms. V remembered everything. And though I have no lucid memories, I have no doubt as to the accuracy of those body memories. They are what I trust. And I am so very grateful for them. So grateful for the releasing and reflection that made it possible for me to reveal the old story that was unconsciously running my life.

Once the consciousness work was mostly complete, it was time to remove the leftover ditritus from my body temple. I found an excellent practitioner of The Emotion Code.* My visits removed the vast majority of the lingering destructive energies, all physical manifestations disappeared, and my body’s wholeness was revealed once again. Now Ms. V and I (my mind) work together to daily create a new story that actually reflects my current life and allows me to be fully present for all that it is.

My invitation to you is this: Trust your body. She is your best friend. She will never lie to you. Listen to her. Treat her well. Love her unconditionally. Accept her sacredly. Release her from carrying your old stuff. And thank her every day for being the amazing expression of Spirit that she is.

Blessings, love and acceptance from Me and V,
And so it is.

“I Am Who I Am: Sacredly Accepting My Body Temple” J. Alison Hilber

*The Emotion Code: loriarveson.com





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